Why I hate Jealousy - Continued

Jealousy isn't as big of an issue in my life as it once was in my life. I'm free, and capable of facing this issue right now. I'm just facing this issue before it comes back and knocks me off of my feet.
When God is jealous, His jealousy doesn't affect his actions; He does everything with love. (Jesus has been stirring this idea in me for the last couple of days)
Today, I've been wrestling with some key differences between God and I:
I'm moody
I'm inconsistent
I'm a slacker
I'm stagnant
I'm a sinner

I've been thinking about how my inconsistency helps me appreciate the need to allow Christ to be my Rock.
Jealousy isn't necessarily bad. It has the capacity to fuel us to rise up, yet it also has the potential to drain us from living freely. For me, jealousy is a binding force. Going off of my opening sentence, it's interesting to see what fuels my actions and how jealousy makes me stagnant. I'm torn up; I want to go through a transformation and be unphased by jealousy, but I'm easily shaken.

⁹This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:9-10

¹²No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:12

¹⁶And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.
1 John 4:16

I told my sister to read 1 John 4. Basically, that chapter spoke to me loud and clear. There's a bit going on... Jealousy isn't the issue, directly, but it's part of it. I'm jealous of everyone who's closer to God than I am, yet I find myself settling with where I am. God is always calling me to take another step closer to Him. The only remedy to jealousy is love; you have to understand how much Jesus loves you, and how to share that love with others.

¹⁸There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
¹⁹We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:18-19

Jealousy causes me to sit around and back-track, but love causes me to act out and grow.
Lord, I'm not living because I owe you anything. You chose to die for me and I'm grateful. Jesus, You loved me first may I live a life that shows how much I love You. Lord, may Your love set me free of these things that slow me down. Give me glimpses of who You are.

I love not being able to communicate myself over blogs. It's not why I'm here. I'm here to live it out. Hope it makes sense, ask questions if you'd like to hear me continue on ideas... I can literally ramble about Jesus forever!

-Joe Morgan

Why I hate Jealousy

I hate jealousy because all of a sudden, those who I compare myself to... instantly turn into bags of crap.

Well, people I'm jealous of, you are not bags of crap... I am.
Just had to get that out there.

All right, Libby. Talked me into it; here I go.

⁴ "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.
Exodus 20:4-6

Basically, I used the lamest argument for jealousy. Well, God can be jealous. There's a lot of differences between God and I. I was made in His image and all, but I'm a fallen man. Here's one big difference: God is just. I'm selfish punk. Sometimes, I wish when I was jealous I could give people the plague, or have lotus' swarm them... heat vision would be cool, too.

Another issue of mine is, when I am jealous, I feel like a failure. I feel I don't have the attention from a particular individual because I'm inadequate. My follow through to this issue, is I desire them to fail (I really hate my own guts right now) followed by my 'rub-it-in-their-face' success.

Want to know the biggest problem with jealousy? My jealousy doesn't only affect me! Others around me may say, "Am I doing something wrong?" Nope. You're doing everything just fine. I just need to gain proper perspective and calm down a bit, that's all.

The last thing I need right now, is for someone else to fill the void that God is yearning to fill. I shouldn't be jealous. My life is great (it gets better every day... Though I can't see it today, it's true). I really need to just vent this out, and get over it.

I'm jealous of people who don't get jealous... ;)
I need to revise this junk!

- Joe

When I find myself standing still.

All right, I will not read it until morning. Grr.



Songs stir me up. I don't love songs because they have catchy lyrics or jamming beats. I love certain songs because they soften my heart and help me see a glimpse of God's heart. Love it!

Anywho, normally I enjoy taking the time... to properly take things in (So simple, I know). This 'standing still' is something I work through everyday. I've blogged about this before, I've preached about this before, it's the reason for half of my convictions; let's just say, it's something I'm working on.
Background information: I'm a big fan of all things tangible, and I have an issue with things I cannot grasp (but they fascinate me so!) Said in a blunt fashion: my faith sucks. Here's some scripture I read the other day that stirred me up, once again.

³¹"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. ³²But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." ³³But he replied, "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death." ³⁴Jesus answered, "I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me."
Luke 22:31-34

Simon Peter is the real deal. Like Peter, I want to show God through what I can accomplish how much I love Him. In doing so, I miss the whole point. It's never about what I can do. God loved us first (1 John 4:19), it's our response to love Him with our lives...

I feel exactly like Peter: God, let me do something bold with you and sacrifice all I have for you to earn what you've given me. My problem is this gaping void that I feel needs to be filled with acceptance. By doing something other's cannot do to set I may be able to set myself apart; maybe I'll be needed and accepted. Other times, I rationalize 'standing still' by saying, "If I had a bit more faith, or strength, I could actually do things for God," but here comes the issue.

Joe 1: Joe 2, define faith.
Joe 2: Duh, Joe 1, Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." .. Ah, crap.
Joe 1: Mmhmm, why do you need additional strength? If you had evidence to prove your faith, what would you have?
Joe 2: I don't know... but it wouldn't be faith, anymore, would it?
Joe 1: Exactly, now shut up, and trust in Jesus, already!

Other linked ideas:

⁵The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"
⁶He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.
Luke 17:5-6

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¹⁰"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Luke 16:10

See, Jesus doesn't want you to do more. Whatever you have, give it all up for Him to use. It's funny, a lame image I have of this is an idea of an old school #2 pencil. It's a something simple tool, but it's value and use is found in the craftsmanship of the user. The same pencil has different value in the hand of a first grader than it does in an artist, writer, or mathmetician. Don't mean to rag on 1st Graders, but it's the way it is. Compared to God, we're dorks. We're cute and can draw stick figure pictures of our family, but God is yearning to use you to do something beautiful.

Hope that makes at least a little bit of sense. I will spend a large majority of my life trying to get this. The story of my life (and I wouldn't have it any other way!)

-Joe

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Workout:
Max Rep Muscle Ups (This is TOUGH!, but I have a recording of this now...)
Almost grabbed 7.. grr.
I'll take 6, though. Another week of muscle up, pull ups, and dips work. Trying to hit 10 muscle ups consecutively.



Then...
60 Explosive Step Ups (Something I made up, I love them!)
60 Ring Pull ups
60 Ring Push ups
60 Air Squats

One more week until I can use weights!

Last thing, I promise... My completed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Drawing!!
It's like a revelation from God or something... absolutely loving this!

I love Green Street Hooligans

I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer. I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away. And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me. Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go.
-Matt Buckner (Green Street Hooligans)

It's funny that I love this quote so much. I don't have anger issues, or wish to hurt someone out of malice intent but it's seriously something else when you realize you aren't made of glass. Sometimes, (I think Wayne's the only person who gets this...) you want to learn if you're... dangerous.

Should I be feared? Probably not, but when pushed I would like to know my capacity to respond.