I asked an awesome co-worker of mine a question, "Hey Ken, can you pretty much fix anything?"
He replied to me, "Well, I'll try"
There was an odd sense of humility and confidence at the same time. Sometimes, I'm glad when Christ shows me things in non-believers. Thanks, Ken. You've impacted my life.
Jealousy isn't as big of an issue in my life as it once was in my life. I'm free, and capable of facing this issue right now. I'm just facing this issue before it comes back and knocks me off of my feet. When God is jealous, His jealousy doesn't affect his actions; He does everything with love. (Jesus has been stirring this idea in me for the last couple of days) Today, I've been wrestling with some key differences between God and I: I'm moody I'm inconsistent I'm a slacker I'm stagnant I'm a sinner
I've been thinking about how my inconsistency helps me appreciate the need to allow Christ to be my Rock. Jealousy isn't necessarily bad. It has the capacity to fuel us to rise up, yet it also has the potential to drain us from living freely. For me, jealousy is a binding force. Going off of my opening sentence, it's interesting to see what fuels my actions and how jealousy makes me stagnant. I'm torn up; I want to go through a transformation and be unphased by jealousy, but I'm easily shaken.
9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10
12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:12
16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16
I told my sister to read 1 John 4. Basically, that chapter spoke to me loud and clear. There's a bit going on... Jealousy isn't the issue, directly, but it's part of it. I'm jealous of everyone who's closer to God than I am, yet I find myself settling with where I am. God is always calling me to take another step closer to Him. The only remedy to jealousy is love; you have to understand how much Jesus loves you, and how to share that love with others.
18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:18-19
Jealousy causes me to sit around and back-track, but love causes me to act out and grow. Lord, I'm not living because I owe you anything. You chose to die for me and I'm grateful. Jesus, You loved me first may I live a life that shows how much I love You. Lord, may Your love set me free of these things that slow me down. Give me glimpses of who You are.
I love not being able to communicate myself over blogs. It's not why I'm here. I'm here to live it out. Hope it makes sense, ask questions if you'd like to hear me continue on ideas... I can literally ramble about Jesus forever!
I hate jealousy because all of a sudden, those who I compare myself to... instantly turn into bags of crap.
Well, people I'm jealous of, you are not bags of crap... I am. Just had to get that out there.
All right, Libby. Talked me into it; here I go.
4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. Exodus 20:4-6
Basically, I used the lamest argument for jealousy. Well, God can be jealous. There's a lot of differences between God and I. I was made in His image and all, but I'm a fallen man. Here's one big difference: God is just. I'm selfish punk. Sometimes, I wish when I was jealous I could give people the plague, or have lotus' swarm them... heat vision would be cool, too.
Another issue of mine is, when I am jealous, I feel like a failure. I feel I don't have the attention from a particular individual because I'm inadequate. My follow through to this issue, is I desire them to fail (I really hate my own guts right now) followed by my 'rub-it-in-their-face' success.
Want to know the biggest problem with jealousy? My jealousy doesn't only affect me! Others around me may say, "Am I doing something wrong?" Nope. You're doing everything just fine. I just need to gain proper perspective and calm down a bit, that's all.
The last thing I need right now, is for someone else to fill the void that God is yearning to fill. I shouldn't be jealous. My life is great (it gets better every day... Though I can't see it today, it's true). I really need to just vent this out, and get over it.
I'm jealous of people who don't get jealous... ;) I need to revise this junk!
Songs stir me up. I don't love songs because they have catchy lyrics or jamming beats. I love certain songs because they soften my heart and help me see a glimpse of God's heart. Love it!
Anywho, normally I enjoy taking the time... to properly take things in (So simple, I know). This 'standing still' is something I work through everyday. I've blogged about this before, I've preached about this before, it's the reason for half of my convictions; let's just say, it's something I'm working on. Background information: I'm a big fan of all things tangible, and I have an issue with things I cannot grasp (but they fascinate me so!) Said in a blunt fashion: my faith sucks. Here's some scripture I read the other day that stirred me up, once again.
31"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." 33But he replied, "Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death." 34Jesus answered, "I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me." Luke 22:31-34
Simon Peter is the real deal. Like Peter, I want to show God through what I can accomplish how much I love Him. In doing so, I miss the whole point. It's never about what I can do. God loved us first (1 John 4:19), it's our response to love Him with our lives...
I feel exactly like Peter: God, let me do something bold with you and sacrifice all I have for you to earn what you've given me. My problem is this gaping void that I feel needs to be filled with acceptance. By doing something other's cannot do to set I may be able to set myself apart; maybe I'll be needed and accepted. Other times, I rationalize 'standing still' by saying, "If I had a bit more faith, or strength, I could actually do things for God," but here comes the issue.
Joe 1: Joe 2, define faith. Joe 2: Duh, Joe 1, Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." .. Ah, crap. Joe 1: Mmhmm, why do you need additional strength? If you had evidence to prove your faith, what would you have? Joe 2: I don't know... but it wouldn't be faith, anymore, would it? Joe 1: Exactly, now shut up, and trust in Jesus, already!
Other linked ideas:
5The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" 6He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. Luke 17:5-6
10"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. Luke 16:10
See, Jesus doesn't want you to do more. Whatever you have, give it all up for Him to use. It's funny, a lame image I have of this is an idea of an old school #2 pencil. It's a something simple tool, but it's value and use is found in the craftsmanship of the user. The same pencil has different value in the hand of a first grader than it does in an artist, writer, or mathmetician. Don't mean to rag on 1st Graders, but it's the way it is. Compared to God, we're dorks. We're cute and can draw stick figure pictures of our family, but God is yearning to use you to do something beautiful.
Hope that makes at least a little bit of sense. I will spend a large majority of my life trying to get this. The story of my life (and I wouldn't have it any other way!)
Workout: Max Rep Muscle Ups (This is TOUGH!, but I have a recording of this now...) Almost grabbed 7.. grr. I'll take 6, though. Another week of muscle up, pull ups, and dips work. Trying to hit 10 muscle ups consecutively.
Then... 60 Explosive Step Ups (Something I made up, I love them!) 60 Ring Pull ups 60 Ring Push ups 60 Air Squats
One more week until I can use weights!
Last thing, I promise... My completed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Drawing!! It's like a revelation from God or something... absolutely loving this!
I've never lived closer to danger, but I've never felt safer. I've never felt more confident, and people could spot it from a mile away. And as for this, the violence? I gotta be honest - it grew on me. Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go. -Matt Buckner (Green Street Hooligans)
It's funny that I love this quote so much. I don't have anger issues, or wish to hurt someone out of malice intent but it's seriously something else when you realize you aren't made of glass. Sometimes, (I think Wayne's the only person who gets this...) you want to learn if you're... dangerous.
Should I be feared? Probably not, but when pushed I would like to know my capacity to respond.
Possibly one my favorite songs, I love the opening verse:
"There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard, No song that I could sing But I can try for your heart, Our dreams, and they are made out of real things, Like a shoebox of photographs, With sepiatone loving, Love is the answer At least for most of the questions in my heart , Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy, And sometimes life can be deceiving, I'll tell you one thing, its always better when we're together"
Hey, hey! Don't jump to conclusions! I'm talking about relationships in general! Yeesh! This is just something I personally take for granted everyday. In a weird way, our interactions with others come done to one thing: the investment of time.
I can break everything down, money invested = how much you made in given time with your given wage. When I tip a waitress, I don't necessarily think of a dollar amount, or percentage of the bill, but how grateful I was that she took the time to be my server. (It's her job, I know, but continue the thought with me...)
Watching a parent raise their kids, if you're ever ungrateful to your parents for what they've done, just take the time to think about how much they've sacrificed for you to be where you are today. Simply, meeting the necessities of a infant are draining enough, but to invest in their character leads to a grueling amount of work.
When a friend takes initiative to help you out. When you read that note you received in passing period before English from your girlfriend. When your guts are spilled all over the table and you look around and you're not the only one trying to pull the problem together. Honestly, if you sit down and think about it, just talking with someone and having others take the time to encourage you is a beautiful thing.
So, speed! Tickets only cost money, you can't buy back the time you waste driving the speed limit! Just joking, think about it, though. Maybe you'll get excited about these things like I do. If not, whatever. *Sigh* Time to move on, I get it. Haha.
61 Still another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family." 62Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
This reminds me of when I'm driving at night, and that annoying person with their high-beams enters the freeway behind you. Sometimes, I just want to rip my rear-view mirror off and throw it at them. It's time to get to work! We are a new creation, there's no reason to look back because God still isn't done with you yet! 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Don't think about where you've come from, focus on where God's taking you. I don't think I really need to say much, Jesus says it better, anyways. Read it up! Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
All right, now I'm done for the day. Keep it classy, San Diego.
I've wanted to blog this out for ages, and, because I can't sleep, here I go!
My friend Wayne, who I met here in Blaine, is a very adventurous man. When I first met him, he was finalizing his preparation to join a Mission team to Mongolia. The summer before he met me, he went up the summit of a peak, the North Face of the Twin Sisters and had a blast, surely I wanted to join in after describing how beautiful it was up at the summit.
It took weeks of planning, but I was incredibly willing to see how far I'd go. Wayne was telling me how much stronger he was than last year, and knowing how much stronger I am than Wayne, I felt more than ready enough for it. So we drove out, and began our trip.
To get to the base of the mountain we had to drive some back roads to the gate of a logging development. From the gate we had to navigate through logging trails to the trail head. From the car to our camping spot was about... 8 miles. Quite the hike with our abundance of supplies (probably about 40 pounds in gear, each). Pretty scenic hike. I really enjoyed it, actually.
As we actually climbed up the mountain, however, it was awesome to see the changes in the vegetation we ran into. Trees began to shorten and look more rustic. The shape of plants were different, it reminded me of Lord of the Rings. (I spaced on taking pictures, at times...) As we approached the camping spot, Wayne noticed a difference from the last time he were here. Less snow. We came at the end of Summer, whereas he came in the beginning of Spring the year before. No big deal. After about a two mile hike, we came to a patch of snow. Gathered the snow into some bags and brought them back to camp. After a little supper (De-hydrated Sweet and Sour Pork, I think... it was delicious!) we went to bed.
The campsite alone almost made the whole trip worth it. Clouds would come and brush over the ridge we were on. It was awesome looking into the distance and barely seeing the ocean we drove two hours away from. Breathtaking. I wish pictures could truly recreate what your eyes pull in.
The next morning, we woke up a little later than we planned. But we were excited to summit. After a little prep of our summit pack and a bit of breakfast we began the scramble. (Oh, Wayne and his tea... delicious tea!!)
It was pretty hectic. I'm going to be brutally honest, I'm excited about trying this again next year, but it was very dangerous. Make every movement count, remember the three points of contact rule, and think about your movements! I felt great the whole time, Crossfit has definitely paid off! Running into 'false summits' was aggravating, but it made the actual summit all the better. There were times we had to back track and if we made mistakes, it could have been fatal. Over-all, Wayne and I were quite patient and nothing was too tough for us to handle... :)
The Summit was awesome. The guessing that ran through your mind as you approached 'false summits' was absent when you actually got there... you knew this was the summit. We both ran separate ways to race up there, and I ran the long way. I ended up looping around and running to where Wayne was, haha. From the summit we could see Mount Baker pretty much at eye level. Awesome. Gazing over to see the South Face was breathtaking as well. I we could've stayed there all night taking it in. After our time admiring the summit, we decided to head back to camp and head home. Wayne was pretty excited to show me how to glacade.
This is the rough part for me. Wayne and I began shuffling down the actual North Face of the mountain. (Background information, the north side of a mountain receives the least ammount of sun, therefore it's covered in snow. Theorhetically, we should be able to just slide down the snow, and hike a bit horizontally and be at the camp in about 1/3 the time it took to climb up.) What happened was, because it was summer, the snow wasn't the gentle pack it would've been if we came in the beginning of summer. It was actually quite packed and solid. I planned on jumping onto the snow and waiting for Wayne to show me how to glacade, but as soon as I landed onto the ice I began to slide. Gaining in speed I frantically tried digging my hands into the snow, but to no avail. I screamed a bit, but quickly quit. In my head and heart I said, "All right, Jesus. Here I come." I probably slide about 70 yards down ice, and probably rolled down about 30 more yards of rocks, afterward I just sat there and waited patiently for Wayne, hoping he'd find me. I didn't think I would make it out of there alive. Wayne, came up and handed me my hat (my brother and I got making hats on my birthday, I love that hat!) and told me it's time to head back to camp and get me to the hospital. We made it to camp, I probably had to sit and rest every 10-15 minutes, but Wayne kept pushing me on. At the campsite, Wayne let me eat the rest of the food we had left from Breakfast, and we began hiking back toward the car.
Remember, we had to hike over to the campsite, and from the campsite 8 miles back to my car. Additional information: I drove in with my manual transmission Mazda. Wayne doesn't (didn't... haha) know how to drive a stick shift. :) He quickly learned. We ended up showing up at the hospital around two in the morning. We walked in, my face covered in blood (head wounds bleed like crazy), and I jokingly said, "I need help." The receptionist quickly arose and said, "Yes, you do!"
The rest of the night was smiles. I was joking around with everyone, nurses, the doctor, and everyone I knew who visited me. It's weird how much you appreciate life after moments like those. I also found out that my relationship with Jesus is real.
I'm literally going to copy and paste this onto my blog site with a few edits. Hope it doesn't seem too impersonal from your perspective, know I wrote it here, on email, first. Also, on my blog I'm going to throw in my pictures that I took. Be careful, the last picture Wayne took, he said, "You have to see how bloody you are!" ... Thanks, Wayne.
Yeah, I don't need to edit it... it's the same story, either way. Hope you enjoyed it!
Oh! Basically, I've been learning a lot about running 'properly.'
My question is, do you rely on Technique or Technology?
Forces in Running? Gravity, Ground Reaction, muscle elasticity, muscle contraction, torque (the re-direction of energy), and, finally, momentum or inertia.
I'm not an expert on this, I thought it was be an awesome picture, so I jumped on it. If you fear running because of the 'risk' or injury (soreness, etc...), you should ask yourself the question I started this blog with: Do you rely on technique or technology?
Goodness. I've been thinking about this workout for a while... I think it's going to kill me. It looks a little something like this:
Workout: 'Scaled Up' Angie 50 - 'Zen' Pull Ups (A deadhang pull up performed with legs in criss-cross apple-sauce.. haha) 50 - Ring Dips 50 - Band Rotations (Each side, I would've done KTE, but my back doesn't agree with the movement right now...) 50 - Full Squat Tuck Jumps
I sliced the reps in half and threw on 10# ankle weights. Basically, one of the toughest workouts I've ever done. The hardest part of the workout, surprisingly, was the the band rotations with the 5# ankle weights on each arm.
Basically, I think about things... almost too much. Here, I can vent out ideas, or just communicate things that roll through my head all day. You can use this to get into my head.
I'd also like to use this to keep you guys informed about what I do, as well as keep track of things that are going on in my own life. Fun times, I hope you enjoy my blog as much as I enjoy trying making sense of what goes on in my head!
